The difficulties of starting habits
Many of us are aware of good habits that we would like to implement in our lives. It’s not necessarily the identification of the habits that are difficult but rather the implementation. What many of my clients state as a major source of frustration is when they are aware of the habits and the positive outcomes of said habits but that no matter how much they try to hit the ground running - they can’t seem to start things up!
Thankfully, despite the challenges of starting good habits there are many practical tools and interventions that can help spark thing!
The first thing we need to be aware of though is our natural ambivalence to change. We are creatures of habit and though we might be able to intellectualize change - performing and following through can be a totally different beast for us. In part, this is due to the simple fact that we stick to what we know and breaking that up is simply not natural for us.
The first intervention that I emphasize for people that I work with is consistent baby steps rather then life-changing leaps that we to often attempt. In other words, if you know the goal is to work out more - challenge the impulse to commit to going 5 days a week for 45 minutes and start small. Maybe walk around the block for 30 minutes 2x/week. It sounds small but the goal here is not to maximize your workout performance - it is to slowly build a new habit. Eventually as this becomes more routine, it will be easier to take on more and more.
Connecting new habits to already established habits can be helpful too! In other words, let’s say that you already are in the habit of brushing your teeth every night. What can be helpful is committing to your new habit 20 minutes (just an example) prior to whenever you brush your teeth. The benefit of this is it sort of convinces yourself that you are extending a habit rather then incorporating an entirely new one.
It is also very important to make your new habit or goal measurable. It can be so easy to say “I want to work out more” but what does that mean? Establish as specific as you can what your definition of working out is as well as for how long and how frequent you plan to do so.
I also often recommend the prospect of bringing in an accountability partner. Somebody that is maybe also interested in the same goal/habit that can maybe do it with you or even if not - somebody that you can ask to check in with you to keep you accountable. Somebody that you can be honest with.
The final thing that I will suggest here is self-compassion. It is so easy to let getting tripped up be the catalyst for giving up on habit but show yourself some compassion. Try to remember that making changes is difficult and that more times then not it will take a fair amount of trial and error. That is par for the course.
If habit building is something that you feel you need help with, therapy can help! Philadelphia therapist Noam Dinovitz works with clients to help them identify and establish better habits as well as the tools into place to not just start them but maintain them. Noam can be reached at Noam@dinovitzcounseling.com or 484 424 7722