A quick guide to managing anger

A common misconception about anger management is that the goal is to eliminate anger. It’s important to recognize that anger is not only acceptable but it is a healthy emotion. Rather the goal of anger management is to learn to have a healthier relationship with anger.

With that being said, here are some tools that are designed to help you better manage your anger:

Utilize a 2 minute countdown: The simplest way to manage anger and often the first recommended in anger management courses is learning to walk away. The way this exercise goes is when you find that you are experiencing the thoughts/emotions related to anger - you simply set a timer for 2 minutes before responding in any capacity. If after 2 minutes you want to react then by all means, at least it’s intentional! The hope is that with just a bit of time to contemplate you will make a decision that you will not regret later.

Log your triggers: This one sounds simple but does require some consistency to be effective. You simply take inventory of what has been getting you angry. More often then you might think, you’ll find themes that you may not have otherwise picked up on. By documenting these themes it makes it easier for you be mindful when they occur while navigating life. Think in terms of say going out to drive in a snow storm when you know the forcast vs going out totally unprepared! It’s the same circumstances but a very different experience.

Come up with a trigger word; In this exercise you come up with a trigger word. Ideally this word should be something random that you need to go out of you way to pull into your line of consciousness. Say for example the word “asparagus”. Asparagus is now your reminder to tune out of the autopilot and stay present in the here and now. You can practice this exercise anytime anyplace. You build the habit of throwing your trigger word out there to simply check in with yourself

S.T.O.P: This acronym is an easy reminder to….

Stop - Don’t react, don’t respond, do nothing!
Take a step back - Before you proceed take a step out of the moment and…
Observe - pay attention to what is bothering you and observe why
Proceed with intention - now respond in the way in which you’d like to, not the way your brain is simply telling you to.

If anger management is something you struggle with, Philadelphia therapist Noam Dinovitz specializes in various modalities and interventions that can help!

Noam can be reached at 484-4247722 or Noam@Dinovitzcounseling.om