The 3 tips for dealing with toxic people

Is there somebody in your life that you feel like does an incredible job of getting under your skin?

This could be a friend, family member, co-worker etc. but sometimes there are people who we just find take up way more of our brain space then they should be.

Here are 3 quick tips for better dealing with these types of people:

1) Taper expectations: Often, the root of our frustration with somebody else is a result of having particular expectations of them. This might be a family member remembering our birthday or a co-worker simply not being rude. These could even be fair expectations. But the truth is, sometimes we know people aren’t going to change and if we can drop the expectations (fair or not) and come to terms with who they are , this can relieve some of the uncomfortable emotions that come with dealing with these types of people. Additionally, stop trying to make sense of why some people are the way they are. Some people just don’t get it and while that’s not an excuse, trying to make sense of it can make it more difficult to manage how you feel. They won’t change so don’t get let down when they’re the same.

2) Reduce the value you're giving to what they say: How much value are giving to what this person says to you? If a stranger had an opinion you didn’t like you wouldn’t sweat it, right? It’s up to us to assess how much value we’re giving to other people’s actions and words. Challenge how much value you’re giving to somebody, even if it’s somebody who you think should be close to you.

3) Engage only as much as you want, don’t get baited: It’s up to you to set a boundary for yourself and only engage as much as you’d like. Is it a friend or family member who often tries to call you out, criticize you or challenge you? Don’t engage! Or at least engage less. If they get upset that you’re not taking the bait then that’s something they need to work through, not you.

If dealing with toxic people is something you struggle with, therapy can help! Philadelphia therapist Noam Dinovitz works with people dealing with relationship issues, addiction, stress management, anxiety, depression and more! Dinovitz Counseling is located in Bala Cynwyd but Telehealth services are being offered through Pennsylvania and Maryland. Call 484-278-1230 or email dinovitzcounseling@gmail.com