Can you read minds? If not, stop trying....

There’s a tendency many people have to try to read minds. Sounds crazy, right?

I’m not talking about people who claim to be psychics, mentalists, hypnotists or anything else of that sort. It goes beyond that.

Rather, what if I told you that there’s a good chance that even you yourself might be guilty of attempting the impossible?

This happens way more often then one might think and despite how ridiculous this might sound, mind reading is often the SOURCE of interpersonal conflict, relationship issues, self-esteem problems and depression. It’s a human phenomenon that despite it not making sense, is very prevalent.

Now, if you’re somebody who CAN read minds, then this article isn’t for you. Keep doing your thing.

But if you can’t, it might be helpful for you if you stop trying.

Where mind-reading often becomes an issue, is when you put your own narrative on what somebody else’s intentions are behind something that they say or do, or making assumptions about how they’re perceiving something that you say or do.

There are many examples of how this can can pop up in everyday life.

1) Somebody looks at you funny - they’re thinking something negative about me.
2) It takes a long time for somebody answer your text - he/she doesn’t like me.
3) Somebody compliments you on how you look - they don’t usually like how I look.
4) You struggle to articulate a sentence when talking to somebody - they think I’m an idiot.
5) You don’t get invited to an outing - they all think I’m a loser.

The list of examples can go on and some of these might even sound farfetched, but the reality is that people tend to make these assumptions without any true evidence backing them up.

You ultimately never know what other people are thinking and as easy as it is to assume you do, it’s simply not worth your time. Especially when the assumptions are generally negative.

Poet, Dennis Cooley speaks on this concept nicely with the quote: “I’m not who I think I am, I’m not who you think I am, I am who I think, you think I am”.

In a nutshell, this speaks on our tendency as people to try to go above and beyond our capabilities to assume we know how we’re being perceived by others. As a result, our own behavior is influenced by how we think other people think of us!

But it might be worth considering how we simply do not know how our character, actions and behaviors are being perceived by others, or vice versa, what other people are thinking when they say or do something that we may be taking personally.

Recognizing your lack of ability to read minds and being mindful of how you may be perceiving other people’s words, behaviors etc. can be a helpful mindset to have to prevent interpersonal conflict, build self-esteem and combat negative emotions.