3 Tips for working through a breakup.
The process and feelings of going through a break-up can often overlap with the symptoms that can be brought on by depression, anxiety, trauma and grief.
People are often surprised with how hard they’re hit and how much their lives have been impacted after breaking up with or getting broken up with somebody. It’s not uncommon for people to report that they feel like their life will never be the same or that they’ll never find somebody like the person they were with.
It doesn’t end there! Work, family life, appetite, sleep and overall emotional well-being are all areas of life that can be negatively impacted and often are when working through the end of a relationship.
As uncomfortable as the process is, let’s talk about some ways to work through it.
Recognizing resilience: While it’s easy to get wrapped up in the hopelessness of things never being the same, take solace in knowing that people are innately resilient. While you might think that you’ll never laugh or have a good time again, knowing that this is absolutely not true is a good first step in working through a break-up. We learn how to bounce back and we don’t need any special sauce to do so. We’re built this way. We simply get over it. Trust that this is not your new reality.
Recognizing time: This is often the toughest and most annoying piece for people to swallow. It’s not often that the process of healing moves at a quick pace. If it’s taking a hot minute, don’t question what you’re doing wrong; chances are you’re doing fine. It’s going to take time to let your brain process and put everything in order. It’s not fun to hear but time usually plays a critical role in all of this.
Note: It is NORMAL for you feel like you’ve gotten over it just to emotionally crash soon after. Psych 101 teaches that break-ups = roller-coaster. Buckle in and know that the ride will end.
Recognizing reality: If you’re looking to get over somebody, then it’s time to accept that this relationship isn’t in the cards. People struggle with this one because they can always combat this with “but you never know” or “things can change”. If you think this way, you’re not wrong but a decision needs to made. Are you looking to move on or are you looking to figure out a way to save this relationship. If your goal is the latter, then at least recognize that and know that it’s a completely different discussion and game-plan. If you’re goal is to move on, then you’ll likely benefit from shutting this door in your mind for all intents and purposes. While it’s true that you can’t predict the future, you can decide on your mindset moving forward.